About First Night - Islam and First Night of Wedding
About First Night - although not yet experienced such thing as First Night , but that does not mean should not know or share a bit about the first night , right?Like a cleric who has never married, and whether he should not be discussing the chapter of marriage?like a math teacher who has never menggenggap billions or trillions, then what should not be taught how to count up to much?like a kiai who have never died, then not allowed to discuss the chapter of death or the end of the day or the life hereafter?
therefore following my posts, savings article (copy and paste) on the first night to readers and gentlemen, may be one lesson (eiits. .. do not be distinguished her Lustful Yua).
eramuslim - is something normal that first night has special meaning for every married couple.This is where the moment for the first time men and women who are newly bound in rope wedding aisle to meet in a single bed.The first meeting is an important event in the series of wedding rituals and can influence psychologically on the next trip home life.
Each partner must have had different experiences with the first night.An unpleasant experience for the husband or wife on the first night will probably affect their domestic travel. Two of the following story is not fiction but true story with a disguised name.Lenny's mother suffered disappointment in his first night because the husband thinks tend to rough start in the marital relationship (Jima ') while he liked the weakness gentleness.This incident continues to affect the maternal imprint and Lenny so that every time you make Jima 'with her husband she did not enjoy and have always felt pain.On the other hand he is also unable to come clean to her husband about this situation, and consequently to have the three children she was not able to love him!
Another Danu Mr experiences that continue to save disappointment on his wife because they do not see any blood on the first night and therefore he thought his wife was not a virgin anymore.Mr. Danu feel cheated, because his wife did not come clean about the situation before they were married, while for the asking he was worried his wife was offended.And what happens eventually to eight years of age their marriage Mr. Danu feel unable to love his wife.
We can only comment on the above two events by blaming Mom or Dad Lenny Danu, but in fact they are not happy in their household because of disappointment on the first night!
Islam and the First Night
First Night is one of a series of wedding rituals which attract attention in Islam.Of our noble Prophet taught what should be done first couple of nights for all activities is worth worship with Allah SWT.Among the guidance he SAW is:
1.Prayers Two raka'at When Wives Meet Entry.
After the show walimah / reception is complete and the atmosphere is calm, he will enter the bridal chamber to see his wife.At that time disunnahkan for the bride and groom perform two raka'at prayers.
2.Reading the prayer for the Bride Men.
Having completed the prayers, disunnahkan for the bridegroom to read the prayer as the words of the Prophet Muhammad: "If you marry one woman, then he should read the prayer:
'Allahumma inni as aluka khairaha of khaira ma jabaltaha a'udzubika alaihi of the min min syarriha syarri jabaltaha alaihi ma'.
O Allah, I beg thee kindness and goodness which Thou hast held for him.And I seek refuge in You from its ugliness and the ugliness that you held for him.(Abu Dawud)
3.Break the ice with them to discuss.
If after that the atmosphere is still stiff, usually the wife, husband should not rush to immediately perform Jima '.Consider the story of the first night Sya'bi ash-Shaikh, a renowned tabi'in who married a woman from Bani Tamim named Zainab bint Hudhair.Ash-Shaikh said Sya'bi as mentioned by Ibn al-Jawzi in his book Ahkamun Nisaa ': "After finishing walimah and relaxed atmosphere, I went to see him and say,' Verily sunnah pray two rak'ahs. Then I stood up and begged to do it to God to bestow kindness on this night. When I turned to the right to say hello, I saw him go pray behind me. Then when it turned left, I've seen it already in bed. I also held out my hand, but he said, 'Be patient, actually I was a foreign woman for you. By Allah, now I'm climbing the toughest roads that previously I had never experienced. You are a strange man, I'm not familiar with perangaimu, then tell me the things that you like for me to do and the things that you hate for me to avoid. I also said, 'I like this and this, I hate this and that, ... while she listened with rapt attention. Finally, the most beautiful night and even then I won. "
4.Doing Jima '
In doing Jima 'first husband should not hurry.Both spouses should be treated gently.Interaction gentle and loving they are saying will make it easier to do Jima 'this first.Should they learn first-adab adab and ordinances Jima 'who taught the Prophet Muhammad.There have been many books by scholars who discussed this theme, including Imam al-Ghazali in his book Ihya Ulumuddin.In one discussion, he wrote about the adab-adab Jima 'as follows:
a.Basmallah read and pray before making Jima '."From Abdullah bin Abbas ra, Rasulullah SAW said:" If any one of you wants berjima 'with his wife, let him read: "Bismillah, cor jannibnaa syaithana wa ash-ash-syaithana jannibi rozaqtanaa ma' (the name of Allah, Yaa Allah put away devil from us and put away what Thou devil of rizqikan to us).So if the relationship was doomed from a child, that child will not be disturbed devil for ever. "(Bukhari and Muslim)
b.Warming (introduction) Jima '.Introduction Jima 'is not meant for husband came to his wife in wife's condition was not ready.Basically women want from men like men want from women, only women's readiness to perform Jima 'does not appear every time as the men.Some introductory Jima 'for example: fondle each other with mild intercourse before Jima' by kissing, hugging and other actions all of which are intended to provide a stimulus and evoke a passion for doing Jima '.By doing introductory Jima 'is expected both in the condition actually prepared to berjima' so that they can achieve satisfaction.
c.Doing Jima 'without haste.Do Jima 'with gentleness and loving sayang.Jika in doing Jima' first proved there are still difficulties, do not hurry to finish it on the spot.Be patient, it may be easier after a few days.And if the husband's satisfaction first, should not in any rush to move from his wife, wait until the wife can achieve satisfaction.
By considering the guidance of the Prophet Muhammad was the first night will be in addition to wonderful memories for both sides, as well as valuable worship beside Allah.
Well, what about your first night?
This article is taken from the magazine Safina No.10 Year I, January 2004.